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The concept of straight men who have sex with men challenges the traditional and for many the unyielding belief that sexual behavior is indicative of identity. Parsons, “Sexual Behaviors of Non-gay Identified Non-disclosing Men Who Have Sex with Men and Women,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 37, no. [iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prestage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activity/non Gay Attachment Research Targeting Strategies Identification Project." (Sydney: National Centre in HIV Epidemiology and Clinical Research ,1994). Reback and Sherry Larkins, “Maintaining a Heterosexual Identity: Sexual Meanings Among a Sample of Heterosexually Identified Men Who Have Sex with Men,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 39, no. [v] STD Communications Database: Interviews with Non-Gay Identified Men who have Sex with Men (NGI MSM),” (Atlanta, Georgia: Orc Macro, 2005). Now that I've stated the obvious, we can then extrapolate from it that heterosexual males, even anonymously, do not provide honest or even rational responses to surveys about same sex activity.Using this stricture as guide, a man who has sex with another male must be gay (or bisexual at the least). Recall from the first posting that researchers increasingly call for studies to include a comprehensive description of sexuality, one encompassing self-identification, arousal patterns, and behavior. King, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men (New York: Harmony Books, 2005). Some refuse to even acknowledge it to themselves let alone a questioner or questionnaire.I feel that we are sexual rather than heterosexual bisexual or homosexual I have had sex with both men and women but now I prefer sex with men I have had sex with several married men and I have been having an affair with a married man for nearly two years.I find it difficult to understand the split and also the fact that for the outside world he is straight - but in bed with me there isn't anything we haven't tried.While a small percentage of these guys probably are closeted, most of them are not.
However, the etiology of this behavior remains contentious, and the final posting in this blog series will examine proposed etiological explanations for this demographic. The problem is males who id as straight are not allowed the same freedom to experiment or act on curiosity as females who id similarly.
I had sex with women mostly out of curiosity and because they pursued me and I went with it.